OK, normally, a potential hurricane this time of year would be something to deal with, but not beyond coping with. Floridians are used to being threatened by these windy entities, and we cope by buying up water, junk food, and batteries.
But this is 2020. The year of craziness. I admit part of me hoped the season would have mercy upon us and skip being really active this year. No such luck. And the storm is making its way towards us, promising a lot of rain and maybe some wind.
Of course, this is midweek when I’m typing this, and by the time you read it we’ll know a lot more. Hopefully, one of the things we’ll learn is how to pronounce its name.
This morning, the National Weather Service decided to name the new storm. The new storm is named – I am not kidding – “Isaias.”
The Farmer’s Almanac’s website helpfully provided a pronunciation key, claiming it’s pronounced “ees-ah-EE-ahs.” Further research by your humble columnist reveals that the name is Spanish for Isaiah, a name you may remember from the Old Testament. For those not Biblically inclined, Isaiah was a prophet who has a book of the Bible named after him.
That may be my problem. I see the name and think it should be pronounced “Isaiahs.” Or, for those who don’t know how to pronounce it, “i-ZAY-ahs.” As it is now, I often stumble over the name, even at one point referring to as “that thing” to Don.
Look, no offense to all the Isaias out there. I’m sure you are very nice. But couldn’t those in charge of naming storms pick something that’s a no brainer to pronounce? I want a name that I don’t need to have coffee first to say it.
I acknowledge that there are bigger problems at the moment than figuring out how to pronounce a storm’s name, but it’s bugging me. It does take my mind off some of the other stuff going on, so that’s a good thing, I guess.
If you wanted something else to worry about besides Covid-19, the economy, and hurricanes, it looks like China has helpfully provided one. According to an article I read on www.cbsnews.com, people all over the USA have gotten mysterious packages of seeds that appear to be from China.
This has alarmed the USDA. The agency has strongly suggested that people not plant these seeds, because they might be invasive plants that could wreak havoc on native species.
For some reason, when I think about this story, I get visions of the plant Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors. I don’t THINK China is sending us man-eating plants, but this is 2020. You have to wonder.
And I hope that people aren’t crazy enough to plant unsolicited seeds they get in the mail. I mean, who gets seeds they didn’t order and think, “Gee, I should plant these?” No one would do that, right? Right?
So, the take-away from today’s column is don’t plant seeds you get out of the blue and if you live in Isaias’s path, get ready. Make sure you have sufficient essentials, like water and chocolate. Do the best you can on what to call the thing. Hopefully, after this weekend, we can call it gone. That would be the best name of all.