If last year taught me anything, it’s just how little control I have over, well, pretty much all aspects of life. This peeling back of the curtain on that new reality has been rather frustrating to downright traumatic at times. Murmuring has left my lips more than I care to admit but I’m coming around to acceptance. Maybe you have that under control but for this gal, it’s a pretty big deal. I’m a mover and shaker – or so I thought – and resilient beyond my years. Even so, despite the best efforts, that darn 2020 knocked me on my bum. Now as this fresh new year stretches before me, I’m sitting in new awareness and taking stock.
There was a time when meeting someone for lunch was scheduled three weeks out because my calendar was jam packed with obligations. COVID took care of all of those and nothing but the lonely winds of isolation blew through formerly stacked days. With everything wiped clean, I now find the freedom to be more spontaneous quite delightful. While I miss the previous social engagements deeply, I can now do something today or tomorrow. Every time I do, it feels like an unexpected gift.
I’m also not making any long-term plans anymore. I’ve realized the foolishness of assuming I’ll know where I can be in six months or a year from now. I know many of you live in the moment and I’ve heard about this mindfulness stuff for years, but quite frankly, I’m just getting it. Quite a wallop to my person it was, but I’m now more in the waiting to see how things go and planning accordingly. I’ll entertain ideas, but I’m not getting excited more than a couple days out. Rather than a cynical outlook, I prefer to refer to it as embracing flexibility in a bold new way.
Doing so will allow me to listen to my spirit rather than handing over the directing of my day to the urgency of life. If nothing else happens in 2021, I want to get to know myself and what I need in the future so I can be a better human. While the “you can’t pour from an empty cup” thing is a well-worn phrase, I am also understanding that I need to know why I’m pouring in the first place.
For so long I’ve put off the things that bring me joy and then COVID ran everything right off the tracks. Awful as it has been, it also brought enlightenment. There are many things I just don’t need to do. The well honed structure of my days was efficient, but also sterile. This messy new life includes so many unknown twists and turns. Maybe, just maybe, as we ramble along this confusing new path, I will discover something new. If nothing else, I’m sure I’ll have a bit more time for whatever little NatureNerd thing I had wished I had time to do. Mother Nature is always happy for a visit and rarely requires a mask. No invite is needed, and any time is a good time to pop by, which is just what I’m looking for. Here’s to living in the moment one moment at a time.