live to love

Around this time of year, people often ask me and my husband, Mark, what is the secret to our marriage. How do we make every day look like Valentine’s Day?

A mega disclaimer here: The first 6 years? Yeah, they were about as explosive as you could imagine between two people who didn’t know squat about relationships. Between me demanding that he complete me like some Jerry McGuire character and him avoiding me and all my crazy like the Corona Virus, we could’ve given classes on what not to do in a marriage. 

We were both so broken that we didn’t see the red flags before we got hitched. It seems our friends and family got that memo and placed bets on how long we’d last. None of them bet more than six months.

Little did they know we were both stubborn enough to stay in a horrible marriage until help arrived in the form of Family Bible Church. It was there that we healed, found out that we needed to love ourselves before we could love one another. 

Since then, we call what we have Holy-Spirit-on-fire love. Because it’s not just us in this relationship. We have God.

1 John 4:16 God is love, and he who dwells and continues in love dwells and continues in God, and God dwells and continues in him.

Although there are multiple factors in what makes a marriage happy and whole, we enjoy each other’s company because we know deep in our hearts that the above scripture is true.

It’s out of that faith that we build one another up where we once tore each other down. When we disagree, we still hold the other’s value at the forefront. Because of that dedication, we will celebrate 29 years of marriage in April. 

You may have a spouse who isn’t a believer. You still have the opportunity to treat him the way our loving Father does. 

This week’s practice:

1. The most important relationship you have is with yourself. When you understand your worth in Christ, you live in freedom. Meditate on scriptures like this one to establish your heart in God’s truth about you. 2 Corinthians 5:21 Amplified Bible (AMP) 21 He made Christ who knew no sin to [judicially] be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we would become the righteousness of God [that is, we would be made acceptable to Him and placed in a right relationship with Him by His gracious lovingkindness].

2. When you have an impulse to say something cutting to your spouse, stop with this in mind: I chose this person. This is the person I’m supposed to love the most in the world. Once you’ve reset your mind with that clear reminder, speak to him with love, compassion and encouragement. 

3. Show him love by doing an act of kindness, buying him something you know he’ll like or leaving a love note.

4. Look for opportunities to date him and put this into practice. 

The law of sowing and reaping is the real deal. What you put into your relationship is what you’re getting out of it. Wouldn’t you rather sow the good stuff?

Remember, you are a powerful child of God and everything you need to rise out of the ashes of the past lives on the inside of you. 

Please reach out if you have a question or prayer concern at I’d love to hear from you.